Remember my previous post about my ikhtiar in finding my Prince Charming?? Well.. I haven't found any, although there're several man messaging me (they falling one by one during the journey) and we mailed each other, but yet.. way too soon to make any conclusion in anyway. I just hoped for the best and prepared myself for the worst. But that's not the thing I wanna share to you today. It's something else.
Joining that site and receiving several messages from various type of man was like an opening eye for me. Those man are really different from one to another. Not only their physical appearance and race but also their age, their job and off-course their marital status. From single, divorced, up to widower (with and without kids).
Communicating with them makes me recognizing things or feelings that I never thought before. Like am I willing to have relationship with someone older than me? How many years I can tolerate? or are my family (specially my mom) can tolerate a son in-law who's much older than her daughter. How many years can she tolerate? What if her future son in-law has the same age like her?
In other case, how about having relationship with a widower. Can I handle that? Being the second love -if I may say that-. I mean with a widower it must be totally different with someone who got divorce. Widower's marriage was ended not by choice but more like by fate. Hence I believe that most people assume that a widower had a wonderful marriage since it didn't end by choice. But it's not really like that, right?! After all, a widower is human being who has faults just like anyone else on this planet earth.
Suppose that his previous marriage was really like a fairy tale, then the question for me is 'am I ready to be compared in anyway to his late wife?' Even when he didn't do it on purpose or even when instead of him, the society or the family who do that. Gosh!! So many thing to think about. Thinks that I never crossed in my mind before.
'Am I ready to be consider as a 'replacement' instead of a 'person' while most people out there still have an idea that dead spouse can't be replaced at all. So.. how am I going to do on such of situation? The more I think the more I got headache (off course) but at the same time, I have a clearer vision about myself and about what I want in life. Well of course, some are still blur but at least I already have a slight of clue.
So.. what if that man already has a child?
Joining that site and receiving several messages from various type of man was like an opening eye for me. Those man are really different from one to another. Not only their physical appearance and race but also their age, their job and off-course their marital status. From single, divorced, up to widower (with and without kids).
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Communicating with them makes me recognizing things or feelings that I never thought before. Like am I willing to have relationship with someone older than me? How many years I can tolerate? or are my family (specially my mom) can tolerate a son in-law who's much older than her daughter. How many years can she tolerate? What if her future son in-law has the same age like her?
In other case, how about having relationship with a widower. Can I handle that? Being the second love -if I may say that-. I mean with a widower it must be totally different with someone who got divorce. Widower's marriage was ended not by choice but more like by fate. Hence I believe that most people assume that a widower had a wonderful marriage since it didn't end by choice. But it's not really like that, right?! After all, a widower is human being who has faults just like anyone else on this planet earth.
Suppose that his previous marriage was really like a fairy tale, then the question for me is 'am I ready to be compared in anyway to his late wife?' Even when he didn't do it on purpose or even when instead of him, the society or the family who do that. Gosh!! So many thing to think about. Thinks that I never crossed in my mind before.
'Am I ready to be consider as a 'replacement' instead of a 'person' while most people out there still have an idea that dead spouse can't be replaced at all. So.. how am I going to do on such of situation? The more I think the more I got headache (off course) but at the same time, I have a clearer vision about myself and about what I want in life. Well of course, some are still blur but at least I already have a slight of clue.
So.. what if that man already has a child?
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| source |
Hugs,
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